Ep 04. Why You are Not in the Relationship You Desire

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Elegance Collective podcast.

If you’re new here today, my name is Daisy and I’m the founder of the elegance collective and I’m very happy to have you here. This episode is going to be short and precise and what I want to talk about are the three main reasons why you’re likely not in the relationship that you want to be in, especially as an ambitious woman and as a woman who seems to have everything else going on for her. And I want to do this episode and just share these reasons because I feel like a lot of well accomplished women are sort of in the dark when it comes to relationships. And I feel like it’s one of the themes that makes it very difficult for women to achieve their full potential. When you’re in a bad relationship or when you’re in a place where you feel like you need more support. Emotionally or in terms of companionship, and you’re not in a relationship that allows you to feel that that need is being met. I feel like you then tend to not be at your best and this is why I’m recording this episode. So we’ll jump right into it. And the first reason why I think a lot of women are not in the relationships that they want to be in is because they still don’t know how to invest their feminine energy. What do I mean by this?

It takes a lot of masculine energy to be able to accomplish your goals to be able to go after your projects, your dreams, your career. And most of us tend to be stuck in that state even when it comes to dating. And I know this because this is what I used to do about five years ago, seven years ago. I knew that I wanted to be in a good companionship but I didn’t know how to be in it. So admit people and there will be interest at the beginning but then I sort of started noticing a pattern where things will change. And I had to ask myself, okay, what needs to change or what do I need to learn? And in my exploration, I discovered about feminine energy and masculine energy and when I looked at my life, I could clearly see that I was mostly in my masculine energy. And when you’re in when you’re in a relationship and you’re mostly in your masculine energy within tends to happen is that the polarity is reversed.

If you’re with feminine man, it’s perfect because then he depends on you. You do a lot of things in relationship you end up being burnt out, because you’re trying to do things both our work and both in your relationship. Alternatively, if you’re in our relationship with a man who is masculine and you automatically and there is no polarity there and eventually you find out that things will fizzle out. And this is what used to happen to me because I was like, Okay, I want to be with this kind of person, but then there really wasn’t that strong polarity to keep things going over a period of time.

So if you find that you’re mostly in relationships, that feasible out of the 2-3-4 months, look into how you come into the relationship where you come in and approaching it the same way that you would, let’s say your goals or your career or the thing where you will the project are you trying to make a project out of relationship and out of your intimate life or out of your desire for companionship.

The other reason why you would likely not be in the relationship that you want to be in is you have everything going on for you except that you don’t present yourself in a way that the kind of person you are aiming for the kind of person you’d want to be with will be attracted to you. And this really has to do with presentation. It has to do with your style. It has to do with your disposition. It has to do with sort of being able to be attractive and approachable. So if you always have like this face that says Do not approach or if you always have this style that seems like you don’t really care about yourself or like you’re not in the dating scene, or if you have like a disposition that when people talk to you they feel like you’re in a combat or they feel like you know like if people feel like you’re not open to dating, then they will not approach you and if they feel like you are dressed in such a way that you’re not attractive because men are very visual. This is something that eventually I had to accept. I was like, no, they shall love me for my brains and she loved me for my personality, and all these other things that I have going on. And I discovered that men are very visual and they they are attracted to something that looks good, someone who they would be happy to be seen or even someone that they’d be happy to walk around with and someone that if they introduce them to their friends, they don’t feel like maybe I settled here, you know, they like to feel like the person that they’re with is on their level. And I’m sure you want the same thing as well as to ask yourself, are you presenting yourself in such a way that your person will feel like you’re on the same level with them and they will be proud to be seen with you. The third reason why you’re likely not in the kind of relationship that you’d want to be in is maybe you’re in the wrong environment. Look around you and see if the people that you have around you are the kind of friends that you want to have long term are the kind of friends who have the finances that you desire to have, let’s say in the next three, four or five years. What do they do in their free time? Where do they hang out? Do they go to bars and spends all their time there? Or do they do something that’s useful for them? So for example, do they have a club where they probably read books or they hide or they do something sporty like running? What kind of people do you have around you? Are you proud of the people that you have around yourself? And depending on how you feel about the people that you have around you, in terms of are they going to take you where you want to go than likely? If the answer is yes, then likely you’re in the right environment but if the answer is no, then that means that also the kind of person that you want to date likely is not within that circle and you need to sort of either relocate or join new clubs or join new communities or find a way to put yourself in that environment where the kind of person that you’d like to be with the kind of person that you’d like to date will be in. So these are the three main reasons that in my experience, and in my work with my clients, I realised that if a person is not in a relationship, it could be that they invent in the right environment and they’re presenting themselves correctly but then they are not feminine. It could be that they are feminine, and they’re presenting themselves correctly, but then they’re not in the right environment. Or it could be that they’re in the right environment, and they’re very feminine, but they’re not presenting themselves in in in the correct way. So it’s sort of like a matrix is like okay, you meet in all these three things at the same time. Because if one of them is out or if all of them are out or if two of them are out then it means that you’re sort of going out on a limb and it will be in your best interest to look into this and say okay, what needs to be changed here.

 Now, how can I personally assist you in this matter? I have three ebooks that are written on these three topics. The first one is high value feminine woman, discovering your femininity, and basically this handbooks help you go from where you are now.

So if you feel like you’re not feminine and you want to start becoming feminine, this first book high value feminine woman is for you. It will help you go beyond the misconceptions that you have. help you learn how to match your feminine energy, help you see the places where you’ve gone wrong, probably in the past help you look into your past as well. It’s a very good book that’s helped 1000s of women.

The second book that will help you in terms of presentation is the elegant style handbook. And essentially this handbooks helps you understand what’s your style, personality, how do you make it more elegant? How do you sort of align your purchasing decisions with your values and how you want to be seen? This is a very good book. It will help you save a lot of money. It’s actually very and it’ll help you save a lot of money when you go out shopping the next time.

And then the third handbook is the level up handbook. And this gives you ideas of how you can integrate new environments into your lifestyle. So if you’re a student, what school should you go to if you’re an adult who is already working, what kind of memberships should you join? Or what kind of sports or what kind of hobbies should you be part of and it’s a very good guide to help you see what are the possibilities that you have within your lifestyle or within your environment that you probably will not have considered because sometimes when we’re so much inside our own lives, there’s so much in the weeds that we don’t see the things that we could change. So

I’ll invite you to buy these three handbooks or buy one or two of them the one that you feel most closely attuned to that really will help you solve for this problem. Because who you marry is one of the most important decisions that you make in your life. And it’s not something to be taken lightly. It’s something that should be taken very seriously and approach with a lot of intention and this is my hope for you that you will take it very seriously and that you will use the available resources for yourself. It’s been a pleasure recording this very short episode. I will see you in the next one. Bye.